Journey 241: Was it only Yesterday?

When we are in love, we care deeply about how we feel and those whom our heart beats for every minute and to those whose lives we are evolving. But when love, as we felt it, are like roses blooming and beaming through an open window, is lovely and yes, it is refreshingly interesting to see and feel. It gave us the reassurance that even if the days are gloomy, our love as we shared it, will be just as refreshing and just plainly, an eye-candy to most who sees us.

Just when we love seriously too, that there are those that hamper our love comes rushing in. Whether we can accept it or not, there are those whose purpose in life is to ruin relationships and conquer the love you built. They just easily stoop at the window and invariably pick up those lovely flowers that represented every bloom, strength, optimism and every purpose why such relationships exist. There are however, people, whose purpose in life is to wreak lives and ruin relationships of which many lovers have befall.

Crestfallen, we are often left out and ruined. We are left to move on alone and worse, we are left over someone not of our own decision and doing, unfortunately, just by someone. Was it only yesterday then that you asks about how you both felt? Was it only yesterday that we enjoyed the simplicity of life and living? Was it only yesterday that we shared a hearty laugh and a will to survive? Was it only yesterday that we shared I LOVE YOU’s? Was it only yesterday that we surrendered all our love, our faith, our loyalty, our trust, our hope? Was it only yesterday that we shared in the victory and downfall of every dream we made? Was it only yesterday that we cared deeply about us and the future we carved in? Was it only yesterday that we courted and build on? We kept asking these to remind us, not of our inability to love honestly but to revalidate our capacity to move on.

In it though, it is unfortunate that one of us go on without the other, in the company of those who stole the show, in the company of those who ruined us and those in the arms of strangers who wreaked us. Then how could moving on be not as painful? It will always be painful but the reassurance will always be that in the hollowness we felt, we find peace and respect. That in the painful journey we will take alone, we find solace in the company of those who plant love and nurture it. That in the painful transition, we are deeply reassured of our own self-worth above what they have seen through us and those whom they refused to see us through. After all, roses are lovelies when they bloom and they bloom much more than we even think they have been doomed.

Journeying Through 102: Five Months Since

It’s actually five short months since the 10 nursing graduates of the University of La Sallete vanished in the fire that gutted that ill-fated inn and breakfast in Tuguegarao City on their days taking the 2010 Nursing Licensure Examinations. I have written so much about them since December 19, 2010 and I felt them as much as their families in their ordeal.

Families and loved ones were my friends on Facebook now, mostly students from ULS became my friends, the review center and ULS fathers to some extent, became my friends virtually but sadly, those affiliations were not meant to be had this unfortunate disaster did not happened. I am sorry even until now that our friendship became apparently made after these young brave men perished. If I can only turn back the hands of time, I would wished to have met them when they are still alive, jolly and carefree, knowing them the more and being their “kuya” who is willing to help them get through the NLE and their review. But all these, were shattered after that tragic incident.

Sadly too, up until today, there was slow progress in the dispensation of justice to those who violated the law that claimed the lives of these innocent young men. No news alert already, in fact, nobody talks about them and their legacy saved for some few loved ones and families whom I get to see and read their thoughtful FB posts. No one even get to talk about them in national and local media regarding what progress the cases are now. Not even the law enforcement agencies tackling the case, no reports and no progressive update on what turns the cases have went.

The challenge we need to face today and onwards as we count the months and years is to remember the lives and love of these young men. Let not their memories escape us and let not our short-sightedness hamper the search for justice and truth in this incident. Let not our own inability to live their lives in ours affects the way we remember them five months since they were gone. They are indeed gone but it is unacceptable to also forget them and the circumstances that claimed their innocent lives. Let not anything in their memory also vanished in ours for when they are gone, we felt the void, the painful living each day on our own and by living their legacy in our lives for by it, it fulfils the promise of embracing their own legacy to ours which is importantly what makes us more human that we believed we are.

Like the hole that binds us together in a net, one must forever care for each other even if they are gone. One can never be fulfilled living one’s life without even making the slightest remembering of what has been for others to live too shortly and whose lives were abruptly taken away. In our journeys henceforth, one must link up each hole in our hearts to make the strongest net that catches not only fishes out to sea but the inspiration we sometimes, loss when someone has gone.

Journey 232: The Meaning of Motherhood

It is very impossible for a man to define the meaning of motherhood more so that I have yet to have my own children with my wife but an attempt at finding meaning to it based on what I had in experienced as a son and a husband will at least, give credit to all mothers as we celebrate, everyday, the important role they play in our lives. Women as they say are the lamp that lights up a home and a man is the pillar of every lighted home, simply because no man can be an effective pillar if he himself is grappling in the darkest house, not a home, but a house empty, an empty chair or worse, an empty heart.

My mother, as has with your mother too, is one supporter, believer, biggest fan, trustworthy bestfriend, confidant, understanding lady and a conscientious parent. I grew up in a family that has me more closer to my Mum each day and even until her last breath, I was convinced that I am her son and she is more, so not only all that I wished for in a person because she is importantly my mother, who remains compassionate, considerate and affably charming. Our mothers are the kind of image of a person full of strength, vitality, determination and courage. All throughout her married life, she has to balance her own life, her social networks, her family, both as a mother and a wife. No superwoman deserves more than any accolade than our mothers.

Whenever we are at school, it is our mothers who comes up to the affairs and pin our ribbons. She is always present in every meeting, looking at our grades before our fathers do, scold us first before our fathers do and forgive us first than anyone does and more so, understands us well in our limitations and shortcomings.

The meaning of motherhood is one that since giving birth, nurturing and caring for us when we grew up and understanding us when we independently seek our own paths – remains to be the most graceful lady in our lives. She may have her own flaws but we understand because it is what she is made of and her flaws are what define us too. Her flaws help us understand her the most and also to align ourselves to the goodness of her heart and the sincerity of her intentions. It is her own shortcomings, much more than ours, that we understand her role more than just passing hurtful judgements and an uncaring ability to ignore her. If a woman indeed enters into motherhood, then she has already accepted her fate that she has given up much of herself for her children. Motherhood is an art of giving up ones pleasures and convenience for the sake the children. Her priorities changed as children come into her life and as lived well, her own children’s priorities are her own now.

However one defines it, many still in our society are too irrational regarding our mothers. We wrongly see their intentions and their scolding are considered an encroachment of our lives but let us see it this way: Had it not for her, will we be here? Had it not because of her ability to wake up early in the morning to prepare our food, wash our laundries, iron our clothes, buy us anything, will we be of equal success now? Had it not for her in our lives, can we find the right wife or husband, boyfriend, girlfriend or partner? Our mothers are the ones who feed us when we are incapable of eating, even lactating for us to eat while when we are adults and had lived a busy lifestyle, great careers with properties and monies in the bank, we tend to let someone fed her when she is incapable of eating.
Sadly too, we only got to commercially celebrate Mother’s day because it is May 8 but are we not supposed to celebrate our life with our mothers now that we are more successful, more blessed? If one needs to define the meaning of motherhood, then embrace your mother, hold on to her memories and hold her hand, walk her through life as she has perfectly did her part in walking you through life unselfishly.

Even now that we have everything in life, can it be possible to just remain the child we were to our mothers? When her memory fails her and she keeps repeating her words, sometimes even forgetful of your name, can we still be the child in us who fondly calls her Mama? Can we perhaps even forget ourselves instead remember our Momie? Can we? Because if we can’t then perhaps reminding ourselves of the lullaby our mother sang to us to sleep can help you reclaim what has been lost in us – our own childhood.