Journey 239: How do I say Goodbye?

In so many ways, whether in work, career, relationships, ties and bonds, one find it harder and harder to say goodbye which is why to some, suicide is an option but really, like how do we say goodbye? I have observed that many among us just utter ‘bye’ without the goodness of it for an apparent concealment of how we truly felt when we say it. Just as when we say it, how do we feel? We perhaps feel the guilt, the pangs of retrospection and regret as well as reeling on the possibility that one day, our paths will cross but nothing stays the same any longer. Just as when we thought that our bidding is necessary that we still clings on what are those that continually hurt us or worse, keep us from moving on.

So in which case, having talked to a friend whose career had been shattered by someone who remains down to earth and undeterred, pained but unmoved, confused but remains infused in his spirit to make his story stands is one journey I tend to make good of my promise to fully understand what it is to say goodbye. I was at one point, on March 9 this year so depressed that I nearly committed myself up and stop the clock with a click on the cold .45 but I choose to live and never utter goodbye. My penance may be too gross to many but no one understood how badly I felt and depressed at that moment that ‘saying goodbye’ becomes an option, however, I succeeded to say I am still here.

Even in relationships, many whom I knew become suicidal because they can hardly come to terms to the pains that come along every relationship. While reading the book Diana’s Boys, I even now knew how painful it was to go through such a wreaked marriage and so many attempts of the late Princess Diana to commit suicide became so apparent that the establishment has to call in psychiatrists to help but Charles remained indignant and remained unimpressed so to speak. In the affairs of the heart, no one is really too good of an expert to understand its intricacies and ups and downs. Many in fact are left scarred for life that the surface may be healed but the wounds are still there, gaping like it was first been cut.

When I journey through my life, I came across the perennial questions like: “If I am gone, how will you ever say goodbye? If I am gone, how do u bid goodbye to me? For the headaches I have done to you in the past, how do you say goodbye? For the failures I have done and had been up to, how do you say goodbye? For the greatness of spirit that I shared with you, how do you say goodbye? For the time we shared laughing, crying, believing and dreaming on, how do you say goodbye? For the moments we hugged and kissed, how do you say goodbye? For the moments I have came across your mind, how do you say goodbye? Until you give me your BEST goodbye, I shall remain your bestfriend until here and until eternity when our goodbyes are just the best we can give than just by saying plain byes.

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